Archive for category In My Opinion…

In My Opinion – July 2009

This hot weather seems to stimulate my thoughts, especially about surviving the heat in a large body.  More than any other time it makes me think I would like to be  weighing less. I don’t like getting into the subject about weight loss as it is one of those subjects that seems to be emotionally charged.  Oh well, maybe once in a while we should just take it out and shake it up.

Sunny DayI hear about all aspects of weight, probably more than many people.  Needless to say it ranges from promotion of every diet to sheer self acceptance at any cost.  It is a very interesting subject but one that so many of us have strong feelings of hurt, frustration, confusion, anger, rejection and desperation.  So why am I taking this on one might ask??  I can only answer that for me, so much information flows my way for a long time and then I have some sort of epiphany and I need to share it.

This really started with Mer, a friend of mine who told me she finally had the answer to losing weight. It is the “one egg theory”. I was of course intrigued as we had declared a moratorium on talking “diet”.  Her very good friend moved into the same apartment complex  and they have spent more time sharing kids and dogs and meals. This friend of her’s is slim.   Seems her friend only eats one egg for breakfast.  No toast, no butter, nothing but this one egg.  She also only eats small portions at all meals.  We laughed so hard….one egg indeed, “never” have I had just one egg……! I said to my friend that I guess everything comes full circle.  In the beginning the experts said “input – food/output-exercise” it was as simple as that.  We both concluded that we are “hooped”!!

This encounter started me thinking about this entire subject again.  I had put it away and worked on the self acceptance part for a long time.  I have once again after many years opened it up and have talked to many women about their journey.  As you may expect it is a long list of different results but in the end it seems that not much has changed over the years.  It is complex, dieting has  poor (still after all these years} long term maintained  weight loss success.

I have come to believe we may need to make peace with our bodies.  We spend so much time and energy on everything related to weight, what we eat or don’t, how much exercise to do, what others think of our body and on and on.  If it is true that focusing on what we don’t want will bring us more of it,  no wonder we stay fat.  What if we could just lighten up on our constant thoughts about losing weight?? Perhaps we could just stay in the moment and thank our body for getting us this far.  I have this quote  taped on my printer from Sarah Ban Breathnach who wrote Simple Abundance :You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life, and you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given to you.”

I have said for a long time that it may be hard to move forward if we don’t like ourselves.  I also think we need to feel happy and feel good.  It is just not possible if we are obsessed about every aspect being fat.  Clearly I have not lost lots of pounds but I have been able to do things for me that are easy choices that help me to maintain the feel good theme.  I am liking the idea of not thinking about my body size constantly.  The reality is that it is what it is right at this moment.  I have read that one may be able to create a vision of what we want, ask for it ( from God, the universe, ourselves?) and allow it to happen.  I will give it a try, after all being grateful has served me well and brought me much more.

Last week a customer told me she had “released 65 pounds from her body”.  I had not heard that before.  Interesting…..
I will let you know if there is any “releasing” from  making peace with my body,  if all else fails it will surely lead me down another interesting path.

One thing for sure, the “one egg theory” will remain just that.

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In My Opinion – December 2009

Once again here I am about to tell you what I think.

I just read the In My Opinion I sent out last year and I suppose most of us can say it has been challenging times.  How we survive these times may be where the most interesting stories develop.

I shared with you last year that staying out of the “fear” arena was critical for me to survive and even thrive.  For retailers it was a horrible feeling from one day to the next.  The phones, email, and walk in traffic seemed to come to a  stand still.  Until it picked up again it was a huge lesson in trust.

What I learned about myself and others was nothing short of profound.  I think many of us may have experienced a shift in attitude and in our behaviour over this past year.  I learned to do without many things I thought were a must in my life.  I learned to be more grateful for the things I have and for so many intangibles.  I learned that gifts of all kinds come when you least expect them.  I also learned that finding ways to feel good helped me to see things in a more positive light.  I strive for that always, the real lesson is to achieve it when you are truly “up against it all”.  I learned that I am really quite happy with the smallest of things and experiences.

I set about this last year to find out what exactly made me happy.  I highly recommend this.  I have little doubt that you will surprise yourself if you have not ever really thought about this.  I will share a few of my revelations.  I just love the quest to find a great cup of coffee.  It truly does make me happy, even more so when I succeed and share the time with someone I enjoy.  I like flowers, they make me happy and I buy myself just one sometimes.  I like to talk, and to discuss, and to engage with others.  I also like to be alone, especially if it is a choice.  I like food, it makes me happy.  Don’t laugh, what other audience would appreciate this without judgment?  Aside from liking food in general I love to find new small indulgences and share the new find with friends.  At one time I recall having huge expectations about what should make me happy.

I have shared this because we can all know more about understanding that expectations can affect performance and outcome, whether in a positive or negative way.   Let me put this in another light.  What if we believed all the negative assumptions and stigmas we hear about people of size?  What if we bought the concept that thin is beautiful and fat is unattractive?  It would just be so easy to fall in that trap of accepting such stereotypes, in fact many people do.  I know it is important to challenge ourselves and understand that there are so many people of size who are brilliant, beautiful, accomplished and so much more.  If we don’t then we buy into exactly what some media, the diet industry and others want us to think.  I remember when I went to elementary school we “knew” that girls were not good in math and science.  Many years ago Claude Steel and Joshua Aronson used the term “Stereotype threat”.  According to these psychologists the mere knowledge of expectations affected performance.  Taking that back to the fat issue why not carry the knowledge that we are great, have equal opportunity and we love ourselves.  Pipe dream?  Not to me, it gives me purpose!!!

I leave you this year with the last verse of one of my favorite poems.  It is by William Ernest Henley, called Invictus.  The last two lines have spoken to me for years.

It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishment the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul

You tell me that what I say affects you.  Thank you for that.

Looking to 2010 we welcome the “wide world” to our doorstep and we hope to see you personally or virtually soon.

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